Week 6...Swearing, Star Wars and stew

Week 6

F?$!!!^@*  Monday

Swearing is my new hobby. It’s a helluva lot cheaper than shopping. Unfortunately my new stress relief strategy doesn’t meet with the approval of my family. We grew up with parents who never swore, which considering they raised a very large family makes them truly heroic. Now when I’m innocently releasing my (understandable with all I have to put up with) stress and tension with some simple effing and blinding, some of my siblings appear shocked to the core and ready to keel over in a faint.  I had coffee with friends today who were also shocked by my language. Actually it was more mangluage. How come no one passes any remark at all the swearing that goes on everywhere on a daily basis including television programmes, but if I say a naughty word it’s practically a matter for the national news?  Anyway f*** that. I’ll keep swearing as long as I f***ing want to. So there. Or at least until the yoga, meditation, gym, long walks and camomile tea kick in. Which isn’t yet.

Heigh ho, heigh ho, it’s off to Court we go…maybe…eventually…

The new legal document comes in the post. It’s the application for a divorcé. I’m the applicant, he’s the respondent. The accompanying letter explains the way it works; my solicitor posts it to me. I then read it and accept/amend it. I then sign it and post it back to my solicitor. My solicitor reviews it, and if all is ok forwards it to his solicitor. His solicitor reads it, determines that it’s ok, and posts it out to him (same home address as me). He then reads/accepts/amends it, signs it and posts it back to his solicitor. His solicitor then reviews it. If he’s happy with it he posts it back to my solicitor. My solicitor then lodges the application with the Court. This will be the procedure with settlement terms, affidavits of means, pension adjustment orders, notifications of court dates and the whole ball of wax.

We both consider this crazy. We are sharing the same house, don’t see why we need two legals playing ping-pong with documents; surely we could both sit down with one legal person and sign all the papers together? There’s no dispute regarding anything practical and there are no complications - like children.  This methodology seems bonkers. And of course neither of us has any clue as to how long each bout of ping-pong will take.

Jewelled Words Wednesday

 As recommended by Self Help Book #2, I purchased a notebook in which to record positive affirmations and ONLY positive affirmations.  Since it is intended to contain only beautiful thoughts, I bought the prettiest little handbag sized notebook I could find. A little gem with a printed cover of birds and flowers in reds and golds, a little red elastic band holding it closed and the front embellished with red, heart shaped glass decorations. Inside, the pages are overprinted with more flowers and birds. I love it. So; what’s going to be the first beautiful quotation… AH…”Everything is happening perfectly for my highest good”.  Off to a good start. I walk round the kitchen swiping at counters with a cloth and repeating today’s beautiful affirmation over and over again.  “Everything is happening perfectly for my highest good”. Pity I didn’t notice the stew was burning. But never mind. All is calm. And good. Perfectly good.

Star Wars Sunday

May the 4^{th be} with you… Yes! Star Wars hits town! Three of us head off to the Exhibition Centre at an ungodly hour.  I can’t wait! I’m a complete geek. I’ve been in love with Han Solo for many years now. Since 1977 in fact.

We’re outside, queuing to get in. I already bought our (expensive, very expensive) tickets online in the belief that places would be limited.  But we still have to queue. While we’re waiting I lose all morality and fraternise with an Imperial Storm Trooper. In fact, I have my photo taken with him.  Sorry, Leia.

The Exhibition is a bit disappointing. It’s not the artefacts, but - in a huge cavernous arena, the displays looks.. I don’t know. Non-magical. That’s me and my airy-fairy expectations again. Posing in Anakin’s Tatooine kitchen and under a Scoutwalker helps somewhat.  We do have a nice time and take lots of photos before we head to the Metro Café for brunch. As we tuck into scrambled eggs and toast, the third member of our expedition party just happens to mention that he thought he was going to a Star Trek convention…and I’m the one who gets accused of being on another planet half the time?