Stand up and be
counted…
Probably because I
find it difficult to say no, I agreed to do something for a literary event to
celebrate a bike show coming to Dublin. Which is how I came to be standing in
front of a lunch time audience
yesterday, with a 4-Solpadeine hangover, dressed in cycling gear, wondering what the
hell I was doing there and hoping I would remember my lines. Miraculously, I
did (well most of them) and it went very well. Very well indeed. In other
words, the audience laughed. Afterwards
as I was running out the door to the day job, the Director of the event ran after
me – to congratulate me. Said I was
brilliant…Then a woman I know approached me- to tell me how well I did, how low
she was, how she was on medication, how she appeared all jolly on the outside
but inside was a different matter. I know that mask. I wear it too, at times. I
knew her to be widowed 2 ½ years, have children and grandchildren, her
situation completely different to mine. She needed to make changes in her life,
she said, has yearned to move back to Dublin from the crystal chandeliered mini
palace down the country. But she won’t settle for what I know I will have to; a
small terraced house somewhere, I don’t yet know where… I know her to be a
tough cookie, a very tough cookie who upset a lot of people, including me. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
Regardless of previous behaviour, my heart went out to her. She said she’d be up in Dublin again in a
week and would like to come to the writing circle...
I went to work. Realized I’d forgotten to bring
office clothes. Explained the situation to the powers that be, and spent the
rest of the day in fluorescent orange and pink cycling shorts and pink
sneakers…Luckily I remembered to take the bicycle lamp off my head.
Supper was
non-alcoholic cocoa and toast. I think I finally fell asleep in a cocoa-induced
haze at 4 a.m. That’s ok. Today put another brick in the self-esteem wall. What
could be better than making people smile, laugh, feel better, even for a
moment? Don’t we all love that, need that sometimes? I’m giving myself an A for today and not
dwelling on the mistakes I’ve made in life. J
No comments:
Post a Comment